Juanita Long Mullins 12301930-12012021

Gold Rush: Don't Rush Into It

       What does gold mean to you? How important is gold to you? Throughout history, gold has been a desired possession. Kingdoms have flaunted themselves using their gold furnishings and funding. The rich became poor just to seek out gold during the great Gold Rush of 1849.1 Today precious metal is a heavily advertised investment. 

      What is your gold? What is the gold you wish for to such an extent that you dream of it when you sleep, worry if you can't obtain it, or strategize about it during your daily life? What is the picture on your mind when you go to sleep and wake up?

"Cause everybody in the back room's
Spinning up
Don't remember what you're asking for
And everybody's in the front room's
Tripping out
You left your bottle at the door"2

      Whatever your gold is to you, here are a few questions to ask yourself as a guide to determine your gold's true value:

        1. Is it true? Does it honor the sanctity of the Creator and humanity?

        2. Is it worth your distraction? Time is a sacred gift and time should be used to honor to Creator and humanity. 

        3. Is it right in God's judgment? Does your gold compare with Holy Scripture?

        4. Is it pure? Will it cause harm to anyone resulting in harming your conscience because it robbed the wellbeing of another?

        5. Is it necessary? Does your survival depend on obtaining this gold or will it destroy your conscience?

        6. Is it respected by yourself and others? 

        7. Is it beautiful? Will it always be beautiful to you or will you grow tired of it in time?

      At this point in my life, I have found my Gold in my Lord Jesus. 

1. https://www.history.com/topics/westward-expansion/gold-rush-of-1849

2. Lyrics.com, STANDS4 LLC, 2022. "Glitter & Gold Lyrics." Accessed January 5, 2022. https://www.lyrics.com/lyric/34282641/Barns+Courtney.

Systemic Racism: We Lost our Wonderful Child

The electrified sounds of screams, shouting, tambourines, piano, organ after dark

and we shouted the glory down and felt better after church;

The sights and smell of sweat as we ran the church isles, jumping, cheering, waving our hands

and we shouted the glory down and we felt better after church;

The intermitted rest as we lay on the floor with our modest towel over our legs

and we shouted the glory down and we felt better after church;

At home, when our parents felt powerless by world conflicts and threats

and waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

At school, we kept our eyes circumspect lest we may be touched by sin

and waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

At the grocery store, we counted the cost so to fill the cart

and waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

At the downtown dress store and the clerk suggesting a more suitable thrift shop down at the harbor

and waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

At a morning church with the tense insults, shepherd's criticism, borning storytime, gossip raging

and waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

At home, when news of young rebels unhappy with God and country

and waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

We lost our Wonderful Child 1

but always waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

We were not able to touch His fingers and toes

but always waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

We were not able to listen to His Words

but always waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

We were not able to know His longing for our attention

but always waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

We were not able to know His pleading for our souls

but always waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

We were not able to know His Wonderful Spirit

but always waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

We were not able to know His Wonderful Love for us

but always waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

We were not able to watch Him grow in us

but always waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

We were not able to know His perfect Purity of heart

but always waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

We were not able to celebrate His birthdays

but always waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

We lost that Wonderful Child in the manger kit; it's somewhere in the closet or may be sold in the yard sale

but we can always wait until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

We lost that Wonderful Child and the flowers are gone 2 

but we can always wait until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

We lost that Wonderful Child and found fun glitter and gold 3

and we shouted the glory down and felt better after church;

Wonderful Child grew up somewhere else and sent us a letter and we smiled and put it on top of the fridge

and we shouted the glory down and felt better after church.

"Isaiah 53.3. If sin rules in me, God's life in me will be killed; if God rules in me, sin in me will be killed. The final culmination of sin was the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, and what was true in the history of God on earth will also be true in your history and in mine-that is, sin will kill the life of God in us. It is the only explanation why Jesus Christ came to earth, and it is the explanation of the grief and sorrow of life." 4

1 https://hymnary.org/hymn/LUYH2013/99
2 http://www.folkarchive.de/where.html
3 https://www.songfacts.com/lyrics/barns-courtney/glitter-and-gold
4 My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers

Systemic Racism - People Like You

When Al Franken created the character, Stuart Smalley, on Saturday Night Live, Stewart was an annoying, self-proclaimed counselor who always ended his sessions with 'people like me.' 1

When I was little, I heard this line because I belonged to a social and religious group that was not always welcomed.

• People like you are good for our workforce.
• People like you don't need formal education.
• People like you are stout and easy to have children.
• People like you have lower standards than others.
• People like you can work in the mines rather than go to school.
• People like you will be happy with anything.
• People like you are easy to please.
• People like you had slaves.
• People like you are bad.
• People like you are guilty.
• People like you...

Hearing this in my life always made me wonder why people never took the time to find out the truth about the people they were speaking about. Now at this point in my life, I have complete compassion for those who freely use that line. Some of them are neighbors, teachers, professional health care providers,  church members, classmates, and very influential television/radio programming.  They just didn't know that the One True God's love for them 'endureth forever.' 2 Those who believed in Our Lord Jesus,  just like me, didn't know that we could have a friendship with God the Son who loved us so much and made it possible to call us His friends. How little did we know we were created in the image of God and it is God who made us and not we ourselves. 3 It is God who decided I would be born just as I am and loves everything He made and called me good. 4 

One of my favorite prayers is the Charlotte Elliott hymn, 'Just as I Am Without One Plea.' 5

1 Just as I am, without one plea,

but that thy blood was shed for me,

and that thou bidd'st me come to thee,

O Lamb of God, I come, I come

2 Just as I am, and waiting not

to rid my soul of one dark blot,

to thee, whose blood can cleanse each spot,

O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

3 Just as I am, though tossed about

with many a conflict, many a doubt,

fightings and fears within, without,

O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

4 Just as I am, thou wilt receive,

wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve;

because thy promise I believe,

O Lamb of God, I come, I come. 5

 So now, when I meet people who use the line, 'people like me,' I will ask them if they know God personally? Are they friends with God like dear Abraham? 

Maybe if we can like God, then maybe we can like each other. 

God have mercy on me and on the whole world. 

1. https://snltranscripts.jt.org/91/91asmalley.phtml
2. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+136-140&version=KJV
3. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%20100%3A3&version=KJV
4. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+1-2&version=KJV
5 - https://hymnary.org/text/just_as_i_am_without_one_plea

Culture War: First Thing in the Morning

What's on your mind the first thing in the morning? Usually, it will be the most important motivation and guide throughout your day. The first waking thought is rooted and grounded in the very inner core of what guides, directs, and leads you through every decision you make.

I like the old gospel song that taught me that my first waking thought must be on God and His supreme rulership in my life. Before my eyes and ears open, I want to be sure that God alone has my fullest attention and my complete submission. If my mind and heart are rushed to put on slippers and robe and move to finish daily chores, then my thoughts will produce a wasted leading to unrest, hast to judge, flippant comments about others, and untrue imaginations.

I thank God for the physical ability to get up in the morning; I ask for His guidance as I put on my houseshoes; when brushing my teeth, I ask God to bridle my tongue and place a watch over my lips1; I pray God will control my thoughts as I wash and groom my hair.

"Oh I woke up this morning with my mind
And it was stayed on Jesus
Can't hate your neighbor in your mind
If you keep it stayed on Jesus
Makes you love everybody with your mind
When you keep it stayed on Jesus
The devil can't catch you in your mind
If you keep it stayed on Jesus
Jesus is the captain in your mind
When you keep it stayed on Jesus." 2

I'm reminded of a line from 'Absolute Power' spoken by Clint Eastwood, " When you're alone and rage takes over and you want revenge. . .what face do you put with your enemy?" 3  Sometimes I struggle to keep Jesus on my mind at all times rather than the faces of many who want to be my enemy. It would be so easy to resent and hate the evil deeds others have done.

What if we could simply pray and ask God to fight our battles for us as He promised 4 or we can pray that our minds and hearts be acceptable to Him. 5  Rather than wasting on the uncertain truth that always produces hate, why not try to simply talk to God. Pray and ask God to heal the open wounds that only He can heal.

After all, what we think first thing in the morning is what we do all day.

1. Psalms 141:3
2. "I woke up this morning with my mind," lyrics provided by http://www.allgospellyrics.com/?sec=listing&lyricid=7824
3. http://www.script-o-rama.com/movie_scripts/a/absolute-power-script-transcript-eastwood.html
4. 1 Samuel 17:47; 2 Chronicles 20:15
5. Psalms 19:14

Lest We Forget the Cost

When Elie Wiesel and other WWII survivors spoke at the opening of the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, I will never forget the two lessons I learned:

"Lest We Forget" 1

"Thank God for a routine and boring life." 2

I may never fully understand these truths just as most Biblical principals. However, the longer I live, I find it less urgent to forget my failings, and the need to accomplish. I have found the best teachers are the failings in my life and the best comfort is a boring and routine schedule. 

God made us in His image and we are given such freedom to use holy talents to the point we are capable of doing anything we want. It is so tragic when mankind finds power in evil; blasphemy against God and destruction of humanity.

Sometimes people take positive comfort from tangible holy reminders such as the Bible, crosses, Magen David, or Hamsa. The deeper reminders usually come from sorrow, failings, and the remnants of object lessons found in cemeteries as we visit the graves of our family or museums which teach us of what evil can do and should encourage us to reverence God and humanity above our own desires. 

I toured a museum and a living history village on a Native American reservation and I was offended by the evil man can do.

The mental hospital where I volunteered playing music had a treatment history exhibit and I was terribly offended.

Holocaust Museum with artifacts of human remains offends me;
Bull Run National Park where women and children were massacred offends me;
Chinese Railroad Workers Exhibit in San Francisco showing once noble human being reduced to slaves offends me;
Japanese Internment Camp that jailed innocent Americans offends me;
Factory Museum with pictures of poor women and child labor offends me;
A cinema history museum offends me;
Coal Mine exhibit in West Virginia offends me...

Surely I would never be so capable of such inhumanity... or would I? It pleases God that I am UK Celtic, Scandinavian, and Eastern Europe Semitic, but money always talks and I may have a price.

Oh God, Oh God have mercy on me and on the whole world for our rejection of God and humanity.
What are we to do without the reminders? After all, we are only human and money talks.

Money talks. Do I have a price? What is my price to Blaspheme God and destroy man? How much would I be paid?

Would my name be in the paper, billboards, on the cover of magazines, and praised by many followers? I would be paid much for my picture on the cover of magazines. 

Would my influence pound on the hearts of all those who hear me? They will be happy to follow me. 

Would I enjoy the thrill of minions, subordinates, underlings, my own slaves who follow me? I would feel empowered by their gratitude toward me. 

Would I beat their backs or pull on their chains if they don't agree or keep up with me; better yet, I could slowly take away their ideas, stifle their imaginations, and really just throw them a bone once in a while. After all table scraps are better than no food at all and they will get used to it soon enough. 

Would I laugh all the way to the bank completely careless of the destruction of life behind me? 

I passified, comforted my followers and they had no idea they were slowly being erased...dust.

Surely I would never be so capable of such evil... or would I? The Cross of Jesus reminds me that I am offended by sin, by My Sin. What would I do without Holy Reminders?

Thank God I still cry when Remembering. I still cry for the sake of others. I still cry for the pain of others. I remember and I cry. I hold, kiss the cross...listen to speeches by Holocaust survivors...study the scriptures...try, try, try to hold on to the honor of Creator and humanity.

My teachers told me, 'You don't need college.' 

My church, faith, denomination, people who claimed they loved me told me, 'You don't need college' and 'You need to detach from your family when you get married.'  

My own colleagues are disappointed that I don't scrub their toilets.  

O God, please save me from the luxury of this world's endless wealth of hate, self-loving power, greed, and blood lust vengeance and start the work in me first, lest I forget. Give me a heart and longing to serve rather than be served (3) and to be just a doorkeeper in Your House in heaven (4). 

I will cry. Every time I want revenge and I want to hate...o my I cry Lest I forget to pay the cost of following Jesus.

1. https://www.ushmm.org/information/about-the-museum/mission-and-history/meyerhoff
2. https://www.ushmm.org/exhibition/personal-history/media_oi.php?MediaId=2867&th=children
3. http://www.shrinesf.org/franciscan-prayer.html
4. Psalm 84:10

TLPHC Sunday School Galatians 6

TLPHC Sunday School Galatians 5 (some audio issue)

Maestro Tribute: Playtime with Bach

    When Maestro Cameron Carpenter performs J. S. Bach, everyone can hear the complete joy and happiness through the music. It sounds as though the Maestro is actually a little, giggling child at play full of delight and fun. This is what makes his performances stand out. Not the sights, but only the sounds. I can actually hear the heart of the Maestro and without any visual, I know he is smiling as he plays the organ. 

    It's very rare to experience the work of any artist and experience their fullest joy as they produce their work. Many great painters expressed their sorrows and experiences such as Marc Chagall or Vincent Van Gogh, or the great cellist, Jacqueline du Pre'. I hope I never know the grief and horrors many artists have suffered to produce such brilliant work. I know nothing of Maestro Carpenter, but often wonder and pray for him, and sometimes see him on the internet freely giving his performances. When I hear him play while working on other tasks, I can only hear delight. I am partial to early music and especially J. S. Bach, but when he plays it's carefree and fun. 

Playtime can be very fun when we Honor God and Humanity. The more giving we are the more we are at play in the Father's House, our own souls.

God bless the Genius Givers everywhere. 

O Lord, Where Are You?

Anita, I am with you.

Anita, I am everywhere.

TLPHC Sunday School #11, Galatians 3-4

https://www.loom.com/share/7c3fc42182df4043abd9d49f921b02fc

TLPHC Sunday School #10 Gal. 3

TLPHC Sunday School Galatians 1,2

Covid-19 - Just Give Up

Give up?

'Give up' can be defined in a lot of ways so maybe it's worth an examination; maybe we can think in a little more of a positive light.

My first example in the negative sense was as an adolescent, it was so easy for so many to tell me just to accept my weight and simply eat wisely avoiding bread and sweets. What they didn't know is they were simply saying, 'Just give up' on improving my health. Secondly, because teachers and mentors did not see the importance of my desire for college, they told me many times, 'Don't worry, you won't have to worry about college. You can get a good job in the factories.' Thankfully in this negative sense of the phrase, I did not, and by God's grace will not 'Give up' my weight loss and my vision of education.

At present, the senior stage of my life, the need to 'Give up' becomes increasingly urgent in the lives of those who try to honor Creator and humanity. I want to freely give the lift up to encourage every soul I meet. Many simply cannot understand or accept my 'Giving Up' and there are many who will accept the encouragement. Talk is cheap but when encouragement is 'Given Up' with all our hearts, mind, soul, and strength to fully encourage others, we never need a response of any kind. Encouragement becomes the freely given anonymous offering as the bread cast on the waters with no ducks swimming or birdseed thrown at a wedding.

It is a good thing the news media reports the results of evil deeds, but a far greater thing to know that it is enough to Honor God and humanity with kind, free, 'Give Ups.'

During this Covid-19 pandemic, let us do our best to honor Creator and humanity by praying for Holy wisdom and understanding. Pray that God will help our leaders everywhere: local parish, employers, community, state, federal; and yes, especially those persecuted in this world under abusive and dictating governments. Please help me pray for believers in China, North Korea, Soviet Union, and living in other nations who do not reverence our God or humanity.

TLPHC Sunday School, Daniel 10-12

TLPHC Sunday School Daniel 9

TLPHC Sunday School Daniel 9

Tefillin: Strap in. It's a bumpy ride

We tie shoelaces to walk better, use belts to secure our clothing, and suspenders can be a dashing fashion statement. Straps are used to secure and help keep us safe in our cars and the rides in amusement parks. 

Archers during the ancient empires used arm straps to keep their clothing from interfering with their aim. They were on a mission to protect their families, homes and fight for their country as quiet, invisible warriors. These invisible warriors were completely dedicated to their mission. 

Just as the archer's arm straps protected the body, the tefillin straps protect the soul. Tefillin represents submission to the Creator by submitting the arm as the strongest part of the body. Wrapping seven times around the arm God is declared and implored, "Hear O Israel, the Lord our God the Lord is One." 1 followed by seven blessings, "Blessed are you, Lord our God, Ruler of the Universe, who sanctified us with God’s commandments and commanded us regarding the mitzvah of tefillin." 2

The strap is wrapped around the hand and fingers with the prayer, "I betroth you to me forever. I betroth you to me in righteousness, justice, lovingkindness, and mercy. I betroth you to me in faithfulness — and you shall know God."3

While I am not Jewish and not worthy to lay tefillin, I have a profound need to embrace the Hebrew roots of my faith system. I know that if I do not commit to God first every morning for unknown battles ahead, I will fail. I have to commit my entire being at all times as instructed in the Great Commandment: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength (Deuteronomy 6.5). If I am completely committed to God's perfect plan, then I will rest knowing that He will direct my aim with His Supreme will. 

Our world is full of uncertainty and offers no hope. If we ask God to be the Supreme Ruler in our lives, He will answer our prayer and order our steps. Our aim will be God's Aim. 

Make sure you strap in for a bumpy ride. 

For more detailed information on laying tefillin please visit these websites used in this draft:

https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/how-to-put-on-tefillin/ https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/272666/jewish/How-to-Put-on-Tefillin.htm

https://www.aish.com/jl/m/pb/48969816.html

Intro to Online Classes 7 Tips For Doing Well

TLPHC Sunday School Daniel 8

TLPHC SUNDAY SCHOOL DANIEL 7

Human Rights - The Q Question, Let's Be Civil

I've always had a passion for Chinese culture, especially the various martial arts styles seen in their cinema. I saw how they used every part of their bodies as very lethal weapons even their queue braids. Traditional Chinese faith dictated they could not cut their hair because it represented their family history given to them by their ancestors and eventually the ruling Quin dynasty found it easy to control society by strict laws imposing the queue braids on the general public. 1 I learned how very cruel imposing government can be when laws have too much power over human life and how very necessary man's free moral choices are to the survival of any civilization. 2

Another Chinese 'Q' that always intrigued me was the importance of Qi or Chi. The Qi or Chi represented the vital life energy in all human beings.3 The Qi or Chi taught me that self-discipline is the drive we must have to achieve. What drives me to achieve? What drives me to follow my convictions? I worship God in hopes to honor the Creator in my thoughts, words, and actions; the innermost, secret places of my soul.

When I was little, my Wesleyan church elders preached against sins that were contrary to our belief system. The earliest platforms focused on materials: Women should not wear men's clothes or cut their hair, men should cut their hair, not wear women's clothes; no costly array as jewelry, no makeup, no dancing, no smoking, no drinking fermentation, no card or dice usage that resembles gambling; no television because it brought the sin of the world into the home, and only King James Bibles were allowed. Later the divorce and remarriage issue was the prevailing concern: No divorce or remarriage allowed, if divorced, no remarriage was allowed until the living spouse dies; no living together without legal marriage; of course, no sex outside the marriage but only with one's own married spouse. Our churches had the freedom to believe and trust in the principles taught in our Bible with no threat to ourselves or others. As a local church, we simply chose a common belief in the Bible as a guide to our own church body and home.

We believe in God as an all-wise Creator Artist who allowed many faiths and beliefs in which to believe the Bible. We enjoyed the different denominations who believed very differently than our church; we knew that if everyone believed as we did, God would not be the perfect Artist all Christians can trust. If there were visitors who wanted to remarry, smoke, or dress like another gender, we recommended another church that enjoyed those freedoms and our visitors knew we had a loving friendship with people of other faiths and beliefs. Diversity was thought of as a very sacred gift from God Himself. We firmly believe in the sanctity of individual faith freedom.

In time our churches have tried to survive as Laws were created to accommodate human life choices. Laws have been created to govern how we should dress, content on broadcasting media, what ingredients should be used in our foods and beverages, and regulate the gaming industry. Now I've seen laws that restrict the use of Holy scriptures and prayers in public places and media, and schools now have policies and curriculums unknown or disagreeable to helpless parents who are stripped of any influence in their children's lives.

Recently it has been suggested that laws will penalize places of worship that refuse to comply with laws that are contrary to our faith and with no regard to the worship opportunity in another compliant church in the vicinity. If my family church does not condone same-sex marriages and multi-gender practices, we should be penalized. Why? Why would my local church, my faith group, be dictated and penalized by secular laws when we are not a threat to ourselves or others? Yes, all God's people...all human beings are welcome to visit my place of worship when they honor God and humanity by respecting the local church discipline. 

Why would anyone who loves and honors the Creator and creation demand a following rather than the One True God? Why would they demand any local church to comply with ideas that are not in keeping with that local church? God have mercy on me and the whole world if there is any threat to God's House (places of worship: churches, synagogues, mosques). Why would I demand every woman to only wear dresses? Why would I demand every place of worship to deny their preferred freedoms and embrace my personal convictions? Should I say to every smoker they are going to hell because I don't smoke? Should I enter a non-charismatic church demanding they speak in tongues so I can enjoy their church? Should I visit a united church and demand they preach trinitarian doctrine for my own amusement? As  Apostle Paul said, 'Nay, God forbid may it never be' in Romans 6.1. God forbid I ever impose my own faith convictions on others. God forbid I sin against God and His creation.

Exhausted from constant efforts to fight discrimination with my own preaching and protesting, and now saturated by the imposing and most dreadful opinions of others, I decided to think on my own. My platform, my conviction, my only purpose I want to have in this world:

Nothing matters but Creator and Humanity...Nothing matters but Jesus who took my sins (all creation's sins) away on the cross, rose on the third day, ascended to the right hand of God and pleads for me and all creation.

1. https://agamya.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/chinese-hairstyles-and-foot-binding/
The queue was a specific male hairstyle worn by the Manchu people from central Manchuria and later imposed on the Han Chinese during the Qing dynasty. The hairstyle consisted of the hair on the front of the head being shaved off above the temples every ten days and the rest of the hair braided into a long ponytail.

2. https://www.visiontimes.com/2019/05/05/ancient-chinese-hairstyles-through-the-years.html and http://www.chinaknowledge.de/History/Qing/qing.html
Qing Dynasty 清 (1644-1911) During the time of the Qing Dynasty, the empire passed the “Queue Order,” which mandated that Han Chinese males tonsure the front parts of their head as the Manchu people do. This was imposed violently by the Manchus as they saw it necessary to assert their rule in China. Men sporting full or short hair were also executed since it was seen as treason.

3. http://www.shen-nong.com/eng/principles/qi.html
Qi can be interpreted as the "life energy" or "life force," which flows within us. Sometimes, it is known as the "vital energy" of the body.

Looking for a Shade Tree

The search for enlightenment and truth is often blinding.

If God actually opened my eyes to myself and I saw myself as He sees, what would I see? Because God is holy and cannot tolerate or look at sin, can He see me? Does God want to see me? Could I tolerate the brightness of God's Truth about me?

I actually dread discovering trues others claim to know as they express their opinions. If only there was a shade tree from the blistering light of truth others say they know.

Religious masters seem untouched by evil as they live in a bright state of enlightenment and yet find answers about evil others can't solve.

When I was little, my mother read a Psalm about the captive Israelites who hung their harps on the willow tree because, at a moment's notice, their captors demanded the songs of Zion. Their harps reminded them of their lost nation and freedom because of their sin against God. I spent a lot of time playing under my neighbor's Weeping Willow Tree in hopes God would be with me.

My adult years and a constant stranger in small towns, I always look for the Weeping Willow Tree and I find God.

In loving memory of my Good Roman Catholic Neighbor who always taught God's Truth is not like the world.

Mental Health and Law - My Friend Prudence

When I was little, a favorite classic television show was Perry Mason portraying an idealistic view of a defense attorney. Having no gift in spontaneous speaking and self-defense, I often dreamed of a heavenly angel like him to take on the role of a defense attorney when others would enjoy judging and accusing me.

Thankfully I have very little memory of the accusations and charges, but I remember all too well my  intense panic responses followed by very hard efforts to prove myself trustworthy:

Pre-school, Elementary:

'No. No. Please don't think that. I love you."
'I didn't do it.'
'It wasn't me.'
'I'm so sorry, please let me walk to school with you.''

College:

'I'm so sorry you think that. Please pray for me and I will try to be better.'

Adult:

'Please, that's not true.'
'Oh no. Why do you think that?'

Finally, the age when I simply gave up:

'It's very sad you think that. Just pray for me.'
'There is nothing I can do about your opinion of me.'
'I cannot meet your needs.'

'I wish you well.' 

A few adult authorities who simply didn't like children, playground and school bus bullies, friends and potential friends who were constantly disappointed in my lack of service, all made me feel totally dirty and annoying. Some were at fault and some suffered from my own lack.

It would be wonderful if a perfect defense attorney named Prudence could appear in a flash and satisfy every plaintiff, but it is not a perfect world, especially, if we defend the Creator and Humanity.

Here are a few helpful truths:

The only worthy control is self control.

There is nothing you can do about the thoughts and actions of others; only your own.

The root of all success is to honor the sanctity of the Creator and humanity. 

Individual accountability to truth is absolutely necessary. 

Gold, Frankincense, Myrrh - But Flowers Died

When the Maji presented Our Lord Jesus with gold, frankincense, and myrrh, these gifts were prophetic of Lord Jesus' majesty through the gold, divinity through the frankincense, and His death by the myrrh. Our faith hinges not only by Jesus' birth but His death and resurrection. Our worship centered entirely around our Lord Jesus and the faith in His eternal love and care for us. We knew that we were a part of the body of Christ; our worship reflected the glory of Our Lord Jesus.

We celebrated Our Lord Jesus in our churches and tried to teach Jesus to our babies in Nursery Sunday School Roll. Our Babies were like fresh, beautiful flowers every Sunday morning. Created in God's own image, they saw and heard the gradual departure from the Holy Presence of God and the constant presence of business structures, programs, clubs, special music, and impressive electronic productions and fanfare. Eventually, the babies grew up in our worship places watching the very things Apostle Paul spoke against in his letters. Envy, strife, dissensions, arrogance, greed, and eventually open hostility and the babies never saw repentance and healing in God's house. They never saw anyone turn back to the holy way of Jesus.

The Holy Presence left the worship and took the holy spirit of gold, frankincense, and myrrh until no one had reverence for the Holy Presence, the holy people, and even holy property. The children grew and longed for the day when they could finally be free to leave the holy place of worship. When our worship lost the Holy Presence it became a secular gathering full of resentful tension and brutal political competition.

Now we have stunning buildings and property with empty nurseries and empty Sunday school rooms where babies and children once sang, colored Bible pictures, and learned Bible stories. We have very pretty Christmas decorations and happy music more than sufficient without the children's pageant.

Now we seniors sit in our claimed pew-spot and wonder why the seats are empty. We turn from the grief and enjoy the pretty sights and sounds.

Where have all the flowers gone long time passing? 1

Isn't it long past time to pray and ask Lord Jesus to reclaim His rulership in our worship?

Isn't it long past time to reverence and honor Creator and humanity with fear and trembling?

It is so very simple...just turn back to Jesus.



1 https://folkways.si.edu/pete-seeger-collection/where-have-all-the-flowers-gone

Study - Peer Pressure: Dressed with Perls

I was junior high school age and my family went shopping at Hills Department Store in our hometown. As always, I was taken by the sparkles in the jewelry department and my father approached me and handed me Perls' Gestalt Prayer 1 typed on a small note card. I still have it neatly tucked in a journal. Since then, it has been quite a mental anchor when others presume to order and control my life without God's perfect will. 

"I do my thing and you do your thing.

I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,

And you are not in this world to live up to mine.

You are you, and I am I, 

and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.

If not, it can't be helped."

(Fritz Perls, 1969)

http://www.gestalttheory.com/persons/fritzperls/gestaltprayer/

 1 Perls, Frederick S. The Gestalt Prayer. Wilmette, Ill: Aquarian Productions, 1969.

Safe in prison

When I say, 'I love God,' I really want to say, 'I want to love God.'

When I want to love God so much that I want to defend the honor of God, I run and hide.

Why is it so very easy to love ourselves and our own desires more than the zeal of God?

What I want..
What makes me happy...
What are my own needs...

I hope no one finds out...
I hope I can hide my selfishness
I hope no one will discover my vulnerability

I hide when I hear rhetoric that builds prison walls that cry

you're not allowed.
this is no place for you, leave quickly.
you don't need school because your people work.
how are you going to serve me if you're in school all day?
you don't need to worry about school. You can always get a job at a grocery store.

Klan says, 'Anita, you're not white enough.'
Job Market says, 'Anita, you're not thin, pretty enough.'
Black Lives tells me, 'Anita, you're not black enough.'
Blue Lives makes me feel totally outcast and in hopeless debt.
Gay community says that because of my faith, I am a bigot.
Society judges and condemns.

I will hold on for dear life, hold on for all I can in the faith and trust that my Lord Jesus gave Himself for me too. Jesus loves even me, Anita Mullins Brown, a fat and old white lady.

God have mercy on me and on the whole world.

Culture Awareness - Get Out More

Cultural Diversity: Get out more.

My neighborhood in Northeastern Ohio was comprised of European immigrants who spoke their native languages in their homes. Growing up surrounded by people very different from myself, was a wonderful way to learn about other countries and cultures.

When I married a southern pastor and lived in the agrarian culture of southern Appalachia it was shocking to meet people who never left their own property or met anyone outside their own culture. Typically, farmers live and work on their own generational land without rest. Their most important reading is the latest agricultural market rates and current farm practices. They are noble, hard-working, and diligent people who provide food to the world.

When I feel people criticize me unfairly, I've learned to see them as Our Lord Jesus would see them: Full of perfect love and compassion. Most of the critics I have met, do so because they are content knowing nothing of other world views and cultures; I pray to have such a level of contentment.

When you are called among people with another world view and culture, remember you have the higher, academic burden to see them as they are: A human being unique and absolutely beautiful in God's creative eyes.

If you see differences, it is your burden to 'get out' and love the world and all the different cultures just as they are. 

Study - Library - How to find the Place

The Library is the Place (1) where there is always a librarian on duty.

In academic, college libraries, a librarian is one who has earned a master's degree (and or higher) in Library Science or information related discipline. Typically academic entities advance based on academics earned and not timed served as in service-entities. Public libraries employ and title librarians based on local government standards, however, most will have earned an undergraduate degree in Library Science.

There are several kinds of libraries that include, but not limited to Public, School, Specialized, and Academic. Ideally, community users may freely use any library, but private specialized and college libraries may require an application, fee for a community card to use the facility or borrow items or may not be open to the general public. Be aware when choosing your library that every library will have its unique standards of operation users are expected to observe and comply. They may practice security procedures such as metal detection, bag searching, etc.

Public libraries are usually operated by a public municipality or local government and are normally open to the general population of all ages and social-economic positions. Local government will determine the requirements of a librarian; typically a public librarian will have earned either an Associate or Bachelor in Library Science and work at a reference desk. It's a wonderful place offering information services for all ages and needs. Children's reading rooms, film viewing, easy seating for adults to enjoy their periodicals, and people may consult the librarian for specific research needs. Public libraries are a fun, busy place where anyone can read and learn.

School libraries generally will serve public or private schools with pre-school, kindergarten through 12th grade and the state government will determine the librarian's academic qualifications. Their mission is to serve the students attending their school. They may not be open to the general public.

Specialized libraries are private research facilities owned by a corporation to make research services available to their employees on the company premises which include corporations, churches, museums, research production labs, health care facilities. Depending on the governing body, the librarian may be required to have earned an advanced academic degree. Their mission is to provide convenient information for their employees who may need to consult a research librarian. Most of the time, they will require a reservation if the individual corporation allows public users.

The best library is the academic college library whether you are a student or not, try to use the college library in your area for your study. No matter the culture, country, or local policy, the library is the place that processes and distributes information. If you are not a registered user of a specific library, find out the policy for public users. Most librarians in higher education will have earned a master's or above academic degree in Library Science, Information Science, or discipline required by the college they serve. Many colleges employ support staff and students to assist with practical duties to allow librarians freedom to help students with research needs. Make sure you are consulting a research librarian with your research needs. Support staff can help you find a specific title, directional and technical help, and general patron services. Student-workers offer immediate and practical support while using the library. 

Now that you have found your favorite library, you need to find the right study space and here are are a few pointers to help save time and promote concentration and hopefully eliminate all frustrating distractions:

• First, always consult the librarian for access to library policies. If you are not attending their school, this is a must. Refer to their website frequently to ensure you are compliant. 
• If the library allows, use a backpack, book bag on coasters with your items: pencils, pens, paper, books, laptop, and other learning devices, staple/tape, highlighters, earbuds/plugs. What do you normally use when you study? It's always helpful to have your supplies with you. A zipper 3-holed pouch easily found at any local retailer can hold paper clips, small scissors, pen/pencils, strait-edge ruler or bookmarks, highlighters, earbuds, packs of sanitary clean wipes, small personal hygiene items, etc. Having your items will help save time and energy for study. 
•  Ask the librarian on duty for a tour. This saves you valuable time knowing the layout before you begin and a research librarian will have the highest insight to introduce the study materials in a given area. 
• Consider your study mood and subject matter. Take time ahead to experiment with varied positions and areas in the library. Will the subject matter demand total quiet, moderate noise, or full group study noise? The noise level, seating environment, open or small spacing will either help or frustrate study effectiveness. 
• The correct chairs and desks are critical. Do you need a comfort full cushion chair or a straight wood chair? Do you prefer task coaster chair? What seating will help with the subject at hand? Experiment and have fun trying out the different seating options ahead of time. There are tables to spread out print resources and papers or study carrels if you want a private, concealed space. 
• Examine the physical environment for you and your subject. Generally, tables will invite group study in larger, open spaces while carrels will encourage quiet, private study in a closed area. Suffering from attention deficit, I always prefer a study carrel with a shelf or table facing a wall. The less distraction is the rule if the subject matter demands your fullest attention. Those who need open, larger space with minimal distraction may want to consider a large table in a large room facing a wall.
• Traffic congestion with the highest noise level varies in every library building. Printers, entrances/exits, service desks, concessions, and public restrooms will always have the most presence and noise. Your study mood and subject matter will determine if you can concentrate effectively in these areas. If you know you will need to use the printer frequently, study near a printer; the same applies if you require vending frequently. 
• Designated, specific study areas provide quiet, whisper, or group study. Quiet study areas will usually have individual carrels or tables and the area is monitored to promote quiet. Areas that allow minimal communication may be in an open, larger area with tables. Areas allowing group study and collaboration will allow open communication. If reserved rooms are not available, there may be separate study groups in one space with a higher noise level. 
•  Use your headphones, earbuds, or sanitary earplugs. These can help block out noise and help with concentration. Listening to music can encourage or distract from your study. Make sure what you listen to promotes concentration and learning rather than distract or you may need absolute quiet for a particular subject. Your own saved playlist from your listening device or laptop can be helpful. I am thankful for genre playlists that allow me the choice of folk/Woodstock, Asian traditional folk, Kpop, Gospel, Hymns, classical, TLM Gregorian chants, Ashkenazi cantors, countertenors. I have collected my favorite songs from every genre I enjoy. Sometimes quiet is necessary and earplugs can help to block out noises. 
• If the library allows, having your food and drink is a must especially if you plan to 'camp out' at the library. This saves time from packing up/unpacking for lunch. Make sure your liquids and food are contained and the food is not aromatic that would distract other users. While your main goal is to save time and energy for study, make sure you do not distract other users. Be careful of sounds and smells when you snack or use electronics. 
•  Clean your workspace with your clean wipes before unpacking and after you pack. This will make your workspace more comfortable for you and allow kind courtesy for the next user. If you don't pack wipes, use paper towels and light soap from the restroom to wipe the table. 

Remember, libraries provide usable information and a place to process the information. Your library is your place to make the 'A+.'

1. Library as Place: Rethinking Roles, Rethinking Space. (2005). [pdf paper] Council on Library and Information Resources. Available at: https://www.clir.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/6/pub129.pdf [Accessed 31 Aug. 2019].

Study - Financial Aid - When the money stops talking - Part 2 - How to shop 'Cheap'

Shopping 'cheap' is an art that can be learned quickly with a few ideas to help to prioritize when spending money. A word of warning when shopping second-hand: Never buy any item that cannot be laundered/cleaned with liquid house bleach such as foundation wear, shoes, fabric with fur/fleece, or fabric upholstery. Make sure any material is smooth and easily cleaned.

Now, here are a few specifics to help save money:

• Pay the high costs for only required specific branding. These expenses are routinely reimbursed, but there are always hidden costs that are freely out of pocket:
• outer uniform/suiting with specific company logo
• shoes required by the school/employer
• tangible supplies required with brand logo
• under-armor, supportive wear required
• public relations entertainment 
• Second-hand thrift stores, yard sales, are smart
• Buy outer clothing that can be professionally dry-cleaned. Dress shirts, suiting, athletic sportswear, and outer coats without fur or fleece, are safe items that can be professionally cleaned to look professional. 
• Avoid shoes, fur/fleece/flannel clothing, and any foundation clothing; they are used and may have contaminants that can not be easily eliminated. Use your own judgment if they are in the original manufactured packaging and make sure they are whites easily laundered with bleach. It is always best to buy them new at local department stores. 
• Use caution with outdated fad-fashion. Revival fads are never recommended. Select outerwear that reflects a standard, traditional, classic professional banker/finance appearance. 
• Avoid suiting with large lapels and double-breasted that may reflect popular fad from the 'Disco 1970s.' 
• Avoid suiting with tiny lapels and narrow or wide slacks as they also may reflect popular fad from the early 1960 and the bell-bottoms from the 1970s. 
• Avoid prints fabrics and stay with dark solids. Black should be worn Monday-Thursday and use navy blue or dark brown for casual Friday if permitted. Striped or plaids can be too controversial: Too wide, too loud, too thin, etc. Save the prints for fun during dress activities in your private life.
• Any tangible hard item that can be easily cleaned with household cleansers can be cheaply purchased: books, wall decor, wood furniture, office supply/equipment, stationery, rubber mats. Again, always avoid fur/fleece/porous materials and select smooth surfaces for easy cleaning. 
• A second-hand consignment may not be really less expensive
• Consignment shops are often more expensive depending on the individual exchange policy as they sell for their clients. They are traditionally selective with their clients and merchandise they sell. 
• Use them as a last resort for specific labels on clothing, home furnishing. 
• Again, the same suggestions apply as listed under second-hand thrift, yard sales. 
• Discount department stores and dollar stores can help:
• Sadly discount stores often have low prices due to mass marketing and mass supply/demand. Their prices are very low and often lower than the dollar store. Select grocery, households, electronics, toiletries, foundation wear, and hardware at these discount department stores. 
• For items over $1 at the discount department stores, shop the dollar stores to select items for $1. 
• Grocery - Eat healthy to live, not live to eat
• For suppers at home: When cooking, freeze leftovers for later. If the dish cannot be frozen, don't make it. This is great with suppers at home; 'TV dinners' from the freezer to the microwave. 
• Use the crock-pot on slow, medium for all night cooking and use for your lunches for the next three days. One chicken breast in the crock-pot will allow three lunches at work in a sandwich or on crackers. This will save a fortune on deli meals at work/school if you have access to a refrigerator. Meats and dairy must be refrigerated. 
• If your health allows and you do not have access to a refrigerator, peanut butter with celery or other raw vegetables or crackers is a great alternative to meats and dairy for lunch. Remember your goal is to save money and maintain good health. 
• Use a large thermos or sports bottle for beverages rather than purchase drinks. The drink machine or soda fountains are always expensive. They add up. 
• Utilities at home
• Keep lights, electric switches turned off when a room is not in use. Unplug any electric appliance if possible when they are not used. 
• Avoid heating/air controls and use a portable fan/heater in the room you are using. Make sure they are safe in proper working order and use with caution by moving the appliance with you to another room. Before going to bed unplug the portable and use the heat/air controls only in the bedroom you use. Close the vents in the other rooms and make sure no heat/air escapes by closing and covering the vents and using door 'draft dodgers'. Only open the vents in the bedroom you sleep in. Make sure portable appliances are unplugged from the wall to avoid fires.   
• Use blankets and quilts for lounging or sleeping to keep warm with portable heat/air devise. When asleep, the heating and air controls will keep you warm safely.
• Launder as you shower. The best way to keep foundation wear in great shape is hand washing and line drying. Use the washer/drying for large outerwear or large households such as bedding and towels or items when you want to use bleach. Line drying can cause static in fine washable pants/skirts and an annoyance at work, be sure to use a fabric wash/softener liquid if you wash by hand. Use your own judgment using the washer/dryer to prevent the static in your dress clothing. Use a delicate fabric wash/softener on dress clothing specific for dark (or light) colors and wash/dry the dark (or light) dress clothing together. This will keep the washables looking and wearing well without the dreadful static at work. 
• Cook with microwave, crock-pot, hot pot, or portable device. Use the conventional stove for larger dishes and when multiple stove eyes are necessary. The larger the appliance, the more costly the utility bill.  
• Cell phones can be very affordable by being a part of a group plan or my personal choice is the cheapest on the peg at the discount department store and pay monthly as needed. Thankfully my phone is only for call in and out without the extra features. Most of the time the employer or school will provide a cell phone with the features they require. Use wisdom when spending money on a cell. If you have a cell phone, a landline home phone should not be necessary.
• Travel gas and accommodations. Always use caution in every environment.
• If you live near a store, simply walk if possible and if the area is safe. A roller cart is wonderful to shop with if it stays open. It's a good idea to ask the merchant immediately to avoid shoplifting suspicion. 
• When parking at a shopping center, stay parked and walk to various shops. Remember to use caution and wisdom regarding area safety.
• When staying in hotels, don't be shy to stay 'cheap.' Research the hotel: location, health rating, and most valuable public reviews. Personal safety, clean, and bug-free are the priorities. Always carry your own bathroom cleanser and wear aqua/shower shoes in the tub/shower. 

Theses ideas may be wordy but will open doors to more great ideas to save money for the most important expenses in your life. 

May you always enjoy the highest best in your life.