Illness and the Disappearing Act. Our 40-Year History,

 Dearest,

    In January 1983, You didn't have to work hard to win my heart. Your navy blue three-piece pin-stripe suit, French horn tie, and white Oxford shirt, were perfectly pressed. Your olive complextion, clean cut black hair, tiger-rimmed glasses personified the prince in my baby Cinderella books. If these external, fleshy appearance wasn't enough to turn my head, our spiritual like minds made our initial meeting a joy. We are both music majors who like classical: You like the Romantic period and I prefer Baroque and early works, but we both love traditional, doctrinal hymns. I love the church organ and you are an organist. Most importantly, the Holy Presence of God was with you and I saw Our Lord in your face and voice. 

    Dearest, the whole time I first met you, I was pleading, 'Oh Lord, please spare me marriage; I love this man, but I don't want to marry; I want to serve you as a single missionary.' I tried to resist any attraction above a 'brother in Christ friendship.' I fasted and prayed that God would take away the cup of marriage, but in April, at a joint fellowship dinner with Emmanuel College, we agreed to enter the study stage in our relationship. The idea that I would encourage and help you accomplish the will of God in your life as your helpmate was the natural reality that I have ever known. For the first time after I gave my life to Christ and had the blessed experience of Sanctification and Baptism of the Holy Spirit, I knew God was in this relationship. God gave me the mind and heart to give my life for a husband and I was filled with His Joy. 

    I found a reason and purpose for my life. I found out the reason I get out of bed every day. My ministry and work in my life is YOU. God gave me You as my work and ministry. I know I am replaceable if I fail God and certainly know anyone could be happy living with you, but God placed me, allowed me, and assigned me to You. My joy is complete. 

    We had no money or connections despite our college, work, and life experiences, but we prayed every morning and night together, agreeing to trust and obey God. I know that even when we were alone and even despised, we had each other, and we had God in authority. We both made horrible mistakes and sinned against God and each other over the years, but we always came together to take hold of the foot of Our Lord's Cross. I read every book on how to be a good wife and tried to put the principles in practice. I tried cooking and after three years, you took that role and the scales show how much I love and miss your cooking. I confess, my Dearest, I totally hate to cook. 

    We lived at fourteen mailing addresses, I attended nine schools, and we served ten churches. I never felt like a good pastor's wife for the parishes, but I always tried my best for you. I say this freely by the mercy and grace of God. I'm not comfortable with children and hate to cook despite my every effort and experience. 

    Through all the jobs, constant money concerns, and stress, I know we lived our best. 

    Please, Dearest, when you see me arrive in Heaven, will you be glad? Would you be able, or allowed to love me and hug me? My goodness, I miss our hugs, praying together, singing our hymns at night, and falling asleep. Dearest, I would love to 'cross the ocean' just to see you and hug you. I miss our holding hands in the car, laughing, joking, listening to Car Talk or Lake Wobegone. I miss our going out to eat just to get away alone together. 

    I don't eat out or even go to church because you spoiled me with the best of 'Mom and Grandma's cooking' and Christ-centered, holiness sermons. I just can't find a new home without you. 

    Dearest, God has been so merciful to me despite my failings, and has blessed me with peace and strength to live every day. I get up in the morning praying that God will lead me and guide me through the day just as we prayed together. 

    Knowing you are with Our Lord is my new reason for staying close to the foot of His Cross and waiting on His leading. If I can't know solutions now, then I will wait at the foot of the Cross and on Our Lord's leading. I will trust and obey God with His mercy and help. God has a reason my life is as it is without you...O Lord, help me believe in You and Your Will, Your Way, Your Holy Word. Please...In Jesus Holy Name...Amen. September 2026

Prude and Proud

Prude and Proud is a bit catchy, but the idea is far too arrogant for me to embrace. I must express a terrible abhorrence toward the extreme use of profanity and sexual elements in our entertainment media. I've already decided to return to classic cinema, literature, and even music. After trying to watch mysteries and suspense dramas, I've given up. Every word, implication, and description contained profanity and explicit descriptions of the sex act. I am an adult and fully aware of real life, crime, and the evils that destroy our civilization. 

There was a time...

    I'm a bit tired of that phrase. 

        There was... decency and modesty are all gone now. 

Do I have to have money to enjoy the Goodness, Perfect Creation of the One True God?

    It takes money to go to college and learn how to speak and write with good grammar.

    It takes money to dress decently and conduct myself as a lady pleasing to God.

        Or does it?

            I can read...I can choose what to read. 

            I can bathe and wash my clothes, iron, look my best with what God has allowed me. 

            I can ask God to lead me...

                to Bible-believing preachers, teachers so I can learn.

                to watch the media that honors God. 

                to stores to find my necessities at an affordable price.

I don't think that God was...I know God is Now, and what pleases Him is all I need Now. 

            

Flying Fowl

 If only I could have faith as a 'Feather on the Breath of God.' 1

    I love birds for their color and music. When I walk to work, they sound far more beautiful than any choir. Birds are so delicate and fragile, yet they move freely without any inhibition or fear. Despite the claim that they have such small brains and are therefore dumb, birds seem to live carefree. 

    If there is a Creator God, His eye must be on them 2 to keep birds safe as they fly, perch, or scratch the ground searching for worms. Birds seem to have no stress or care in this world. 

    If only I could have such faith. I suppose I should claim the privilege since I too am a Fowl. 

    Thank you, God, for allowing me to be a 'Fat Old White Lady.' I would have never realized my identity without the current cultural instruction. 

    God works in His own, perfect, miraculous ways, His wonders to perform in me. As I hope to have the faith of a 'Feather on the Breath of God,' 3 and continue trying to follow a Kito diet, I will be quite content waiting on His will in my life and pray, 'Breathe on me Breath of God.' 4

1. https://www.loc.gov/static/programs/national-recording-preservation-board/documents/Feather-on-the-Breath-of-God.pdf

2. https://hymnary.org/text/why_should_i_feel_discouraged_why_should

3. https://www.loc.gov/static/programs/national-recording-preservation-board/documents/Feather-on-the-Breath-of-God.pdf

4. https://hymnary.org/text/breathe_on_me_breath_of_god

Illness and the Disappearing Act. Today. Just another day.

 My Dearest, 

    Today started just as any other day, waking up, praying and thanking God for sleep, the ability to function, a clean water shower, and the ability to stand up on my two feet and dress myself. I tried to keep my mind on God and pray for clean hands and a pure heart that God can love. I walked to work and thanked God for the ability to walk and the crisp, cold temperatures. I love wearing your cardigan and gloves in the Winter. My finger tips are still frozen by the time I get to my building. 

    Honey, was I ok when you were with me? 

    Suddenly, I want to swim the ocean to see and be with you again.1

    As you know, I've been extremely preoccupied with the business of life and trying to learn to live responsibly on my own; I haven't really cried. I saw RT today in passing and asked how we were and I suddenly felt the tearing. You liked him and visited with him a lot in the library, waiting on me to get off work. He was so kind and apologetic, but I kept reassuring him that God is good to me by providing a roof over my head and my job. I thanked God for our precious Church, which let me stay in the church house until I could find a place, and allowed me to leave anything I wanted so they could sell it for me. 

    Honey, was I ok when you were with me?

        Did I treat you well as your help-meet, partner, wife?

            Were you able to find some laughter and escape from the stresses? 

    Dearest, I think you left me a bit too soon and now eight months later, I'm hurting. I should rejoice for your new eternal life with Christ and the horrible pain ended, but I'm selfish right now and really miss you. I want to cry for you, but desperately trying to survive by trusting and obeying God. 

    Maybe God is allowing me a bit of emotional time. I really want to cry, but can't. My eyes are a bit teary, but my goodness, I am hurting. Is this the awful pain listed by death statistics? 

    O Lord Jesus, Thy Will Alone be done. Not mine. 

    Please, Lord, help me accept Your Will Alone. 

    I'll wait until Jesus calls for me. 2

1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SysBazd50D8&list=RDSysBazd50D8&start_radio=1
Writer: TOWNES VAN ZANDT, Copyright: Lyrics © Wixen Music Publishing, O/B/O DistroKidsource: https://www.lyricsondemand.com/d/donwilliamsemmylouharrislyrics/ifineededyoulyrics.html

2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZbJOdB1rVg&list=RDzZbJOdB1rVg&start_radio=1
https://www.discogs.com/release/4890821-Emmylou-Harris-Angel-Band

Some Say, A Little Gasoline and a Match 3

Sometimes, some people may say just what they heard

    from a TV personality like a news caster, a clergy preacher, or a movie star

Some people say what they heard

    from a dance song on the radio

People say

    what they assume 

    what they think

    what they judge

    what they condemn. 

Sometimes, some people watch and record a video on their cell phones

    watching someone being killed by a baseball bat

    watching a driver being pulled out by someone and beaten to death

Some people watch and enjoy

    the new money they earned from selling their award-winning video to the TV news and social sitesl

People say

    I agree with the TV; it looks fun.

People turned to dust.1

"This is Orson Welles, ladies and gentlemen, out of character to assure you that The War of The Worlds has no further significance than as the holiday offering it was intended to be. The Mercury Theatre's own radio version of dressing up in a sheet and jumping out of a bush and saying Boo! Starting now, we couldn't soap all your windows and steal all your garden gates by tomorrow night. . . so we did the best next thing. We annihilated the world before your very ears, and utterly destroyed the C. B. S. You will be relieved, I hope, to learn that we didn't mean it, and that both institutions are still open for business. So goodbye everybody, and remember the terrible lesson you learned tonight. That grinning, glowing, globular invader of your living room is an inhabitant of the pumpkin patch, and if your doorbell rings and nobody's there, that was no Martian. . .it's Hallowe'en."2

1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eu5bBDRpzPM

2. https://www.erbzine.com/mag23/War_of_the_Worlds.html

3. https://genius.com/Jackson-wang-cruel-lyrics

Big F Bomb

I hate profanity because I want to grow and develop as a communicative human being. I want to improve my speaking in every way. When I want to explore a foreign language, I want to learn formal speech just as I want to improve my formal English. 

Nothing is more wonderful than when a person wants to speak with me as a possible friend who wants to know me better. It is a very rare privilege when a person actually wants to find out about me as a person rather than a subject of gossip. When people rush to hear a negative assumption, opinion, judgment, and eventually condemnation, without asking for any facts or information, it is a clear indication that they will not be friends.  

There are a lot of 'F' words that are potentially offensive. The culture today has become so lazy that there is no real effort or work ethic to search for truth or facts. This is so offensive to expect people to run with every doctrine based on a short, second film clip or an implied narrative without background or explanation. 

Any relationship, especially the search for facts, takes hard work and time. To fail to learn and grow invites a very poor and failing society. We may be paid enough compensation for a lifetime of ease for quoting the popular and easy rhetoric, but the price means a total degradation and failure of human life; we stop growing and learning. 

I chose to think for myself and weigh every option possible. I want to work in research and find the best solutions for problems rather than the popular vote or doctrine. Should I agree with every idea expressed at the Oscar Awards? I wish I could earn the amounts of pay that these speakers earn for their speeches. Should I agree, in a fearful state, with every protester on every street yelling at me? I think I would rather grow and develop as a thinking and intelligent human being rather than play dumb and follow the aggressive, abusive four-letter word flatulent.

Illness and the Disappearing Act

In October 2021, my Mother was sick and I traveled to my home in Ohio hoping to help out, and when I returned home to NC, my husband Chris was sick. Was it heartburn, indigestion, or maybe the usual flare-up of sinus or allergies causing him to lose weight? He already has these issues, so I thought it couldn't be serious and I was glad he was losing weight due to his threat of obesity. 

I said goodbye to Mother on December 1, 2021, and after her funeral, I returned home and Chris had an endoscopy. The doctor came into the recovery room and asked us to pray for him, I carried anointing oil and applied a bit to the doctor's forehead and the three of us prayed. I felt honored actually believing the godly doctor was asking for intercession for himself. A minute after 'amen,' he showed us the results and a walnut-sized tumor was blocking my husband's esophagus. Chris had cancer.

Now, after two years of very proactive medical help, successful surgery removing all the threats, and constant, caring medical intervention, Chris is still sick, and unable to digest his meals. I'm watching my Dearest disappear in front of me when I wake up, return home from work, see him before bedtime, and try to cuddle against his back. At every encounter, he is thinner. 

Chris wears loose clothing to hide his bones, but I know he is even thinner than the man I married. I thought he was bony then, but nothing compares to what he looks like now. I pray with the image of holding on to the foot of the cross, believing God has a purpose for this terrifying reality, while praying for healing. I plead the blood of Christ over my own lack of faith. Are we being impatient? Am I hoping to become a widow and free of parish life? Should I plan to survive without Dearest in my life?

There are times I am so very selfish and sinful that I actually wish he would pass and be free of such misery. His constant pain and nausea keep him confined to limited spaces. He vacuums, cooks, and keeps his office hours at the church parish and averages 9-10 thousand steps on his Fitbit every day. Chris has always been diligent with his personal responsibilities; he has to because I have to work with no choice. Yet, despite all the highest efforts by medical and our best diet habits, he still cannot gain weight. All we can do is pray believing and pursue the best health habits possible, then the rest belongs to God. Please God heal...please heal my Dearest. Is it wrong that I pray, 'please?'

Thank God for the best of health insurance, health care, a loving family, and a loving church family. Thank God for His mercy and grace in our lives...Thank God for He is with us, guiding us in His Perfect Will as we follow Jesus in His Way...Thank God Our Lord took stripes and our sickness on Himself...Thank God for His perfect salvation from all sin...Thank God for the mind to pray and help us trust and obey Him...Thank God for Our Lord's Triumphant Resurrection...Thank God for His Mercy on my life...

...Oh God, what have I done to hurt my Dearest so? Is my failing the cause of his suffering? Can you really hear my cries for his healing even though I am frail and weak in faith? Have I become so hideous from my many poor choices in life that You cannot see me or hear me? What must I do to see Dearest healed in every holistic sense and living with me?...What must I DO?

Ok, Faith without works is dead...the just shall live by faith...by faith are we saved through grace and not of works lest any man should boast...

Alright, nothing I haven't heard before...trying to believe. 'AT the Cross...' at the very foot of the cross...the muddy, bloody, smelly, even the awful stench of the vinegar and decaying corpses not far away...I'll stay here and wait and hold on for Dearest's Life.

July 2024: April 14, 2025, for every other week, Chris has had 3-hour chemotherapy and a take-home, 48-hour IV in a shoulder bag. Constant dehydration is the enemy. His continuous pain in the abdomen is totally devastating. We have to stay close to home when we eat. He sits in a counter chair behind the pulpit and his voice is getting softer every day. Our doctor decided to give him a break with chemo on April 14, and at the next appointment, we will discuss his scans. April 28, the scans showed cancer cells active in his liver. The doctor suggested stopping the chemo, because it is not helping, but making his life worse. She suggested a pill, but the side effects will be far more intense. Chris told her no, he's done. We all hoped he would feel better without the chemo and may even have some years of normal life. His pain continues and he always feels sick. We met the doctor one last time, May 12, 2025, PA Griffie spoke to us to let us know what to expect in the end of life. We are to keep her informed on symptoms, and they will arrange hospice care when needed. 

Memorial Sunday, May 25, 2025, went wonderfully. Chris even wanted to go out to eat, but at the last minute, he wanted to stay home. Wednesday night Bible Study, May 28, went great, Chris was feeling great, but was wore out and wanted to go home. Thursday night, May 29, Chris woke up at 1 am and screamed. A sharp pain went under his right shoulder and around his back. This is the beginning of his death. He could not stand or walk on his own. Today is June 14, 2025, Hospice was called in on June 3, and now Chris is in a hospital bed in the den. His relatives have come and they will take turns to sit with him while I am at work. I need to work for the income. 

Thank God that He is the Supreme Ruler of all our unknowns.

I will Trust in God who knows I am dust. 

In Memory of My Dearest, June 17, 2025. He is alive and well with Our Lord Jesus. 

I can only hope for a ressurection...I remain dust. 

Sly Pagans: The Everyday People

Call me Pagan. My DNA doesn't lie. I am Celtic, Scandinavian, and Eastern European. The very civilizations that fought against the educated Roman elite government. 

My parents were shocked at the results when there is solid, legal proof of Native American ancestry and my Mother was very animated to remind me that I am from her and my Dad. Now, my inability to tolerate heat, sun, and many food groups seems to make a lot of sense. My body says Northeastern Europe, but the spirit given to me by family traditions and stories about my ancestors has shaped me into who I am today. 

When Mother died, I returned to religious customs and traditions that gave me a great sense of security. I am most comfortable in a buttoned oxford blouse, maxi skirt, and a loose sweater or dress jacket. My constant weight issues make the supportive oxford shoes a necessity.  I've simply neglected to apply jewelry and makeup for tasks more enjoyable. 

I suppose God must be the supreme artist, after all, He is God and I must be His blank canvas. People who wear piercings, tattoos, and individual fashion designs are beautiful. Far more beautiful are the countless cultures people represent; one reason Heaven is such a wonder. Imagine the languages, music, and foods that thrive in Heaven will be the best because Christ Himself is the Creator who gave us such beauty. 

Regardless of our external choices, we are all pagans whom God so loves. 

"Sometimes I'm right and I can be wrong
My own beliefs are in my song
The butcher, the banker, the drummer and then
Makes no difference what group I'm in

I am everyday people, 

There is a blue one who can't accept the green one
For living with a fat one, trying to be a skinny one
And different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on and scooby dooby doo-bee

We got to live together

I am no better and neither are you
We are the same whatever we do
You love me, you hate me, you know me and then
You can't figure out the bag I'm in

I am everyday people,  

There is a long hair that doesn't like the short hair
For being such a rich one, that will not help the poor one
And different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on and scooby dooby doo-bee

We got to live together

There is a yellow one that won't accept the black one
That won't accept the red one, that won't accept the white one
Different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on and scooby dooby doo-bee

I am everyday people" 1

1. "Everyday People." Https://Genius.Com/Sly-and-the-family-stone-everyday-people-lyrics. November 1, 1968. https://doi.org/https://genius.com/Sly-and-the-family-stone-everyday-people-lyrics.

 

 

My Friend Grace

My friend walks beside me; not in front or behind.

My friend tells me I'm doing a great job; never jealous.

My friend tells me when I'm being bad; always honest wanting me to be the best human being. 

My friend tells me that I am loved when I am bad; a friend who loves me despite my worst form.

My friend forgives me for my worst form; I learn to forgive. 

My friend uses my name truthfully; people seem to listen so I get more friends. 

My friend always helps me when I need help; never imposes, but is available. 

My friend wants my company; never tolerates or tires of me. 

My friend is my constant companion; I am never alone.

My friend stands beside me when I am mocked or slandered; and holds my hand so I will forgive.

My friend knows me more than myself; truthfully.

My friend is so very selfless for my good; I could never earn such a privilege as my Friend.

My friend is a perfect gift.

My friend, the Grace given by my Lord Jesus. 

My friend is God's Riches at Christ's Expense.

My friend is God's Unearned Favor Given Freely to just me. 

    - every good gift I could never deserve.

At My Age?

 I love Korean Pop music. In fact, it's the only secular music I listen to except for Woodstock and earlier American folk music. It seems after the 1960's the music died just as Don McLean wrote about in his song, 'By, By, Miss American Pie.' It seems all American dignity, modesty, and self-respect died after the 1960's. Open, free sex activity and drugs destroyed all that was good in our media, the very source of our information and influence. I weep for our precious country destroyed by the filth and lack of any good in our media. 

As a little girl, I was totally taken by Asian culture via Public Broadcasting television and radio. Chinese, Japanese, and Korean characters had my full attention. I watched programs I didn't like just to see the Asian character on screen. I read about Asian American soldiers who fought for my own freedom and yet were uncelebrated. The Chinese Opera, the Kabuki theater, and Korean traditional music flooded my imagination. Mother was a Gospel singer and her backup was male quartets; probably why I prefer male vocals to this day. I love King's Singers and Chinese Nandan singers for the balance color of their voices. When Korean men sing, there is a balance of tone and color that makes the heart message of the work understood. 

Korean traditional culture dictates a strict modest appearance and behavior, and a diligent and effective work ethic that infiltrates their arts. Personally, I am offended by exposed skin and graphic sexual content. I find suited men and modestly dressed females quite attractive and pleasing for the screen. Korean dramas make me want to improve my own work ethic, behavior, and appearance. 

On the rare moments, I watch K-pop music videos, they remind me of the 'sharp' presentation that the Temptations and other 'DooWap' groups included in their performances. K-pop has restored this dignity and work ethic. 

I pray always for k entertainment labels, especially SM. I know they are tough, but the discipline shows in their productions. I am thankful to be American and love my country, but our entertainment died in the 1950-60's and Kpop has made it totally Perfect. They are Frankie Avalon, Temptations, Joe Croker, Tokens, Bob Dillon, James Taylor all made to perfection. Perfect vocals, dance, visuals...perfect work ethic always produces perfect returns. Exo, NCT, and Shinee are some of my faves. Yes, I prefer male vocals...even counter singers and nandans. I love the suiting, hairstyles, and even the exciting theme costumes. Modest, and clean visuals always make perfect artistry. I pray for the management to have God's wisdom in directing and leading these stunning entertainers. God help them if they compromise the work ethic in the industry because the result would be mediocre and trash. God bless the brilliant artist for maintaining the highest standards. K-pop groups become spiritual siblings and respect each other due to traditional customs. 

I am fully aware there are always failings in ethics and morals; we have all sinned and need to repent. God have mercy on us and on the whole world when we fail to do so. 

I may be a 'prude' far too old to enjoy the young entertainers and their dance. I may be called every insult by all of society, but at least I know what I like...a life without chemical dependence and inner dignity that reflects the Great Image of God to Honor God and Humanity. 

• Like

Study - Let's make it Easy. Thoughts on 'Easy' by Key.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEqHYJhHZPY  [1]

    What did you do this time? Did you cause the malfunction? I wish you were like her. We just have to make sure you don't get hurt. Thank you for the offer, but he is more qualified. Maybe when you're older. You're too old for this task. You can't do this yourself. Thank you for your offer, but we want to maintain the highest standards. You didn't know?... It's just common sense...I thought everyone knew that.  I hope you can think of me as your mom away from home. You are of no use to me. You are a zero. You are worthless. Please catch up...you are holding back the others. 

Never let these messages distract you from your study because they only destroy the human spirit and drive to excel.  They are words the world uses to destroy and crush rather than edify. College students prepare themselves to improve the quality of life for others and are on a mission to make the world better. Never be distracted by evil. 

I dream of a tailor who will take me seriously and make me tailored business skirt suits even though I am a fat, old, white lady. 

I dream of a doctor who takes time to study my lab work to find out the why and a cure for this horrible digestive disorder. 

I dream of a world where people will return the respect and trust they expect from others. How wonderful that would be. 

I dream of a Christ-loving community that trusts and obeys the Word of God and what Our Lord did for all of us on the cross. 

I dream of Christ-loving elders who can look at me and say that I make serving God look easy. 

I want to remember everyone in my past with a smile knowing they made my drive to excel look easy.

I dream of Christ who can look at me and say what I am, what I do for Him is wonderful and God is proud of me. 

When people beat my head with the shovel, I remember, Our Lord Jesus is with me and He will lift me to a higher and better place. His yoke is easy, and His burden is light. Mt. 11.28-30

[1] Credits:
https://genius.com/Key-shinee-easy-lyrics
Written By
박태원 (Park Tae Won), Hayden Chapman, Greg Bonnick, Patrick JQ Smith & Dewain Whitmore
Lyricist
박태원 (Park Tae Won)
Composer
Hayden Chapman, Greg Bonnick, Patrick JQ Smith & Dewain Whitmore
Label
SM Entertainment
Release Date
February 13, 2023
Easy Translations
KEY - Easy (English Translation) by Genius English Translations & KEY - Easy (Romanized) by Genius Romanizations
 

TLPHC Sunday Sermon, February 5, 2023, James HC 'Chris' Brown

TLPHC Sunday School, January 8, 2023

The Fat Old White Lady at the Chinese Table

     I am usually the 'elephant in the room' that makes everyone wonder why I have to be present; the only English speaker, the only white person, and the infamous problem with nothing in common with others, and the only Northerner in the room, etc. Most of the time I have to be present without choice. I made the life choices so consequences must be accepted.

    My first most wonderful experience was being invited to a Passover Seder several years ago. I thought that was the one perfect experience that was the event to end all and I was ready to meet my Lord Jesus. Now in the year of the white rabbit, I'm extremely 'spiritually high' and very sleepy this morning after being invited to a Lunar New Year's Eve party. The love and welcome I received last night was what I would feel at the Wedding Feast of the Lamb. 

    We live at an evil time when people choose to hate differences rather than know the One Creator who made us for His joy. At the Passover Sader and the Lunar New Year party, I was so loved and welcomed even though I am a 'fat old white lady...Celt, Scandinavian, Eastern European.' I sampled every kind of Chinese food served and even though my taste may not agree, I knew it was all from My Lord Jesus Himself. I thank selfless people who allowed me to learn more about China and made me feel like one of their own. I weep in gratitude for people who loved me even though I am different than them. 

    Dear Lord Jesus, please bless them all with your presence and bless their work, home, and rest. We in the US have been so blessed with freedoms our Asian friends can only dream of. Very Happy New Year to all...恭喜发财, 新年好, 万事如意, 새해 복 많이 받으세요, Chúc mừng năm mới. (google help).

TLPHC, Sunday Sermon, James HC Brown, January 15, 2023

TLPHC Sunday School, January 1, 2023

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TLPHC Sunday School, November 20, 2022

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TLPHC, Sunday School, October 30, 2022

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TLPHC, 10092022, James H.C. 'Chris' Brown

TLPHC SUNDAY SCHOOL 10022022

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TLPHC July 31, 2022, James HC 'Chris' Brown

TLPHC, James HC Brown, 03272022, Acts 3

Mommy, It's Nita. May I come in? Mother's illness.

I knocked on Mom's bedroom door and said, "Mommy, it's Nita. May I come in?"

No answer for a long time.

"Ok. I'll come back a little later. Let me know if you want anything."

A little later, like one or two minutes, I knocked on Mom's bedroom door and said, "Mommy, it's Nita. May I come in now?"

No answer for a long time.

I'm an adult child, married and barren by choice, yet want somehow to enter Mommy's world. I want to, at least, freely give her my hands and feet. It's very difficult for a saint, like my mother, to receive any help at all much less from me, so she doesn't answer her bedroom door, and somehow I understand, because I too strive for self-reliance, independence.

I'm ok, but Mother is not.

One month later:

No more chemotherapy for Mommy. One treatment will temporarily stop the cancer growth and symptoms, but cruel doctors tell her she will not live past the weekend. 

I rush home, and I find a house full of people, some strangers, and some friends, and Mom is in a hospital bed in the living room sleeping. Everyone but Mom is telling me she is dying. People cry, wonder, and look at the house furnishings. I sit by Mom and sing old-shaped note songs she taught me and worry about disturbing her rest. 

"Mommy, are you comfortable? Am I disturbing you?"

No answer for a long time.

Then I help Mom wash, change, and sit comfortably in her recliner. She hates her bald head, scarves, and walker.

'Nit, I want you to gather all your things and leave, go home and get back to your job.'

"Yes, Mom. I love you."

Mom is ok, but I'm not. 

Because of Mom, I will be ok.

Juanita Long Mullins 12301930-12012021

Gold Rush: Don't Rush Into It

       What does gold mean to you? How important is gold to you? Throughout history, gold has been a desired possession. Kingdoms have flaunted themselves using their gold furnishings and funding. The rich became poor just to seek out gold during the great Gold Rush of 1849.1 Today precious metal is a heavily advertised investment. 

      What is your gold? What is the gold you wish for to such an extent that you dream of it when you sleep, worry if you can't obtain it, or strategize about it during your daily life? What is the picture on your mind when you go to sleep and wake up?

"Cause everybody in the back room's
Spinning up
Don't remember what you're asking for
And everybody's in the front room's
Tripping out
You left your bottle at the door"2

      Whatever your gold is to you, here are a few questions to ask yourself as a guide to determine your gold's true value:

        1. Is it true? Does it honor the sanctity of the Creator and humanity?

        2. Is it worth your distraction? Time is a sacred gift and time should be used to honor to Creator and humanity. 

        3. Is it right in God's judgment? Does your gold compare with Holy Scripture?

        4. Is it pure? Will it cause harm to anyone resulting in harming your conscience because it robbed the wellbeing of another?

        5. Is it necessary? Does your survival depend on obtaining this gold or will it destroy your conscience?

        6. Is it respected by yourself and others? 

        7. Is it beautiful? Will it always be beautiful to you or will you grow tired of it in time?

      At this point in my life, I have found my Gold in my Lord Jesus. 

1. https://www.history.com/topics/westward-expansion/gold-rush-of-1849

2. Lyrics.com, STANDS4 LLC, 2022. "Glitter & Gold Lyrics." Accessed January 5, 2022. https://www.lyrics.com/lyric/34282641/Barns+Courtney.

Systemic Racism: We Lost our Wonderful Child

The electrified sounds of screams, shouting, tambourines, piano, organ after dark

and we shouted the glory down and felt better after church;

The sights and smell of sweat as we ran the church isles, jumping, cheering, waving our hands

and we shouted the glory down and we felt better after church;

The intermitted rest as we lay on the floor with our modest towel over our legs

and we shouted the glory down and we felt better after church;

At home, when our parents felt powerless by world conflicts and threats

and waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

At school, we kept our eyes circumspect lest we may be touched by sin

and waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

At the grocery store, we counted the cost so to fill the cart

and waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

At the downtown dress store and the clerk suggesting a more suitable thrift shop down at the harbor

and waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

At a morning church with the tense insults, shepherd's criticism, borning storytime, gossip raging

and waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

At home, when news of young rebels unhappy with God and country

and waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

We lost our Wonderful Child 1

but always waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

We were not able to touch His fingers and toes

but always waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

We were not able to listen to His Words

but always waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

We were not able to know His longing for our attention

but always waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

We were not able to know His pleading for our souls

but always waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

We were not able to know His Wonderful Spirit

but always waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

We were not able to know His Wonderful Love for us

but always waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

We were not able to watch Him grow in us

but always waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

We were not able to know His perfect Purity of heart

but always waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

We were not able to celebrate His birthdays

but always waited until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

We lost that Wonderful Child in the manger kit; it's somewhere in the closet or may be sold in the yard sale

but we can always wait until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

We lost that Wonderful Child and the flowers are gone 2 

but we can always wait until the next time we can shout the glory down and feel better; 

We lost that Wonderful Child and found fun glitter and gold 3

and we shouted the glory down and felt better after church;

Wonderful Child grew up somewhere else and sent us a letter and we smiled and put it on top of the fridge

and we shouted the glory down and felt better after church.

"Isaiah 53.3. If sin rules in me, God's life in me will be killed; if God rules in me, sin in me will be killed. The final culmination of sin was the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, and what was true in the history of God on earth will also be true in your history and in mine-that is, sin will kill the life of God in us. It is the only explanation why Jesus Christ came to earth, and it is the explanation of the grief and sorrow of life." 4

1 https://hymnary.org/hymn/LUYH2013/99
2 http://www.folkarchive.de/where.html
3 https://www.songfacts.com/lyrics/barns-courtney/glitter-and-gold
4 My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers

Systemic Racism - People Like You

When Al Franken created the character, Stuart Smalley, on Saturday Night Live, Stewart was an annoying, self-proclaimed counselor who always ended his sessions with 'people like me.' 1

When I was little, I heard this line because I belonged to a social and religious group that was not always welcomed.

• People like you are good for our workforce.
• People like you don't need formal education.
• People like you are stout and easy to have children.
• People like you have lower standards than others.
• People like you can work in the mines rather than go to school.
• People like you will be happy with anything.
• People like you are easy to please.
• People like you had slaves.
• People like you are bad.
• People like you are guilty.
• People like you...

Hearing this in my life always made me wonder why people never took the time to find out the truth about the people they were speaking about. Now at this point in my life, I have complete compassion for those who freely use that line. Some of them are neighbors, teachers, professional health care providers,  church members, classmates, and very influential television/radio programming.  They just didn't know that the One True God's love for them 'endureth forever.' 2 Those who believed in Our Lord Jesus,  just like me, didn't know that we could have a friendship with God the Son who loved us so much and made it possible to call us His friends. How little did we know we were created in the image of God and it is God who made us and not we ourselves. 3 It is God who decided I would be born just as I am and loves everything He made and called me good. 4 

One of my favorite prayers is the Charlotte Elliott hymn, 'Just as I Am Without One Plea.' 5

1 Just as I am, without one plea,

but that thy blood was shed for me,

and that thou bidd'st me come to thee,

O Lamb of God, I come, I come

2 Just as I am, and waiting not

to rid my soul of one dark blot,

to thee, whose blood can cleanse each spot,

O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

3 Just as I am, though tossed about

with many a conflict, many a doubt,

fightings and fears within, without,

O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

4 Just as I am, thou wilt receive,

wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve;

because thy promise I believe,

O Lamb of God, I come, I come. 5

 So now, when I meet people who use the line, 'people like me,' I will ask them if they know God personally? Are they friends with God like dear Abraham? 

Maybe if we can like God, then maybe we can like each other. 

God have mercy on me and on the whole world. 

1. https://snltranscripts.jt.org/91/91asmalley.phtml
2. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+136-140&version=KJV
3. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%20100%3A3&version=KJV
4. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+1-2&version=KJV
5 - https://hymnary.org/text/just_as_i_am_without_one_plea

Culture War: First Thing in the Morning

What's on your mind the first thing in the morning? Usually, it will be the most important motivation and guide throughout your day. The first waking thought is rooted and grounded in the very inner core of what guides, directs, and leads you through every decision you make.

I like the old gospel song that taught me that my first waking thought must be on God and His supreme rulership in my life. Before my eyes and ears open, I want to be sure that God alone has my fullest attention and my complete submission. If my mind and heart are rushed to put on slippers and robe and move to finish daily chores, then my thoughts will produce a wasted leading to unrest, hast to judge, flippant comments about others, and untrue imaginations.

I thank God for the physical ability to get up in the morning; I ask for His guidance as I put on my houseshoes; when brushing my teeth, I ask God to bridle my tongue and place a watch over my lips1; I pray God will control my thoughts as I wash and groom my hair.

"Oh I woke up this morning with my mind
And it was stayed on Jesus
Can't hate your neighbor in your mind
If you keep it stayed on Jesus
Makes you love everybody with your mind
When you keep it stayed on Jesus
The devil can't catch you in your mind
If you keep it stayed on Jesus
Jesus is the captain in your mind
When you keep it stayed on Jesus." 2

I'm reminded of a line from 'Absolute Power' spoken by Clint Eastwood, " When you're alone and rage takes over and you want revenge. . .what face do you put with your enemy?" 3  Sometimes I struggle to keep Jesus on my mind at all times rather than the faces of many who want to be my enemy. It would be so easy to resent and hate the evil deeds others have done.

What if we could simply pray and ask God to fight our battles for us as He promised 4 or we can pray that our minds and hearts be acceptable to Him. 5  Rather than wasting on the uncertain truth that always produces hate, why not try to simply talk to God. Pray and ask God to heal the open wounds that only He can heal.

After all, what we think first thing in the morning is what we do all day.

1. Psalms 141:3
2. "I woke up this morning with my mind," lyrics provided by http://www.allgospellyrics.com/?sec=listing&lyricid=7824
3. http://www.script-o-rama.com/movie_scripts/a/absolute-power-script-transcript-eastwood.html
4. 1 Samuel 17:47; 2 Chronicles 20:15
5. Psalms 19:14