God - Sometimes I Get Cross - Understanding

While anger can be managed most of the time, there are occasions when I get cross. I get very angry when there are no answers to urgent questions, problems, or my own sin-restitution. Resources are exhausted and every effort to find solutions seem wasted. I feel responsible, guilty, accountable, inadequate and then get cross.

Why am I full of feelings I shouldn't have? Why are there no solutions for the urgent matters at hand? When I get to the lowest position, I get to the foot, base, root of the cross and hold on for life. I find the best and safest position is at the foot of the cross...the bottom, lowest, ground, beneath the Cross of Jesus.

I hear Our Lord say, 'Forgive her, Anita needs a Savior' or 'Come to me Anita, I will give you rest.' When I finally release and surrender my failings, I can finally hear as though Our Lord Jesus say,

"Arise, my soul, arise,
shake off your guilty fears;
The bleeding sacrifice,
in my behalf appears;
Before the throne my Surety stands,
Before the throne my Surety stands,
My name is written on His hands." John Wesley (1703-1791)

Then I get The Cross.