Regardless of culture, you have agreed and selected a life partner, soul mate, and hopefully a best friend. All hazing, initiation, gauntlet, or any such practice has absolutely no place in your/your partner's life. It is your job to protect your partner from any such brutality of physical or mental forms. Never, never allow any form of oppression or retardation to enter you/your partner's life and home.
You and your partner's parents raised you to become who you are now; who you chose to marry. You chose them for their good, adult character and you and your partner must encourage each other in your future growth.
The home you and your partner make is your life, your place of refuge, your place of edification and spiritual growth and there is no place for any outside interference. All life emotions of joy and sorrow are always freely given and shared in marriage by the married couple and never imposed by outside the home. That is why joys are doubled and sorrows are halved in marriage of two people.
The above declaration is the absolute love quality test of all parents and siblings. Will they respect and trust you with their loved one? The answer must be 'yes.' Will they demand seniority when that word alone has no place whatsoever in a healthy relationship? The answer must be 'no.'
Here are boundaries that must be respected by parents, siblings, relatives, and friends:
1. I respect your home as a sacred place. Therefore I do not participate in arguments, contentions out of respect for your sacred place. Please do not expect such negative behavior from me.
2. Our finances and health/bedroom matters are private. They are never your business.
3. Your differences and cultural identity is fully respected and enjoyed; please return the dignity we show you toward me and my relatives.
4. You are not my superior and never my place to obey your commands. I have agreed and accepted this one individual as my life partner and my new family. I am not going to marry you. It is not my place to lower myself to your insults, condescending commands and corrections. Loving and mutually respectful, shared discussions are always welcomed.
5. I am very close to my parents, siblings and relatives. Please honor and respect that fact as a positive, good character trait. I will not accept any assumptions or ignorant judgments that are contrary. If you as a family want respect, please show it to me and my family.Yes, this is an ideal engagement period. Still want to marry?
Never, never place a human beneath you. Slavery is never acceptable.
Remember the golden rule: whatsoever you would they do to you, do to them.